Productive Partner: Oregon-based Friends of the Family Gains Effective Fundraising Strategies, Skills through Mission Increase Ministry
By Amy Morgan
Friends of the Family is a non-profit that, like most members of our Community Marriage Initiative family, relies on fundraising to cover its costs. Learning how to raise needed funds while keeping methods and motives aligned with God’s heart can feel like a delicate balance sometimes. Friends of the Family (FOFM), which serves those living in Oregon’s Willamette Valley, had been working with Mission Increase even before Dave Jackson came on as Executive Director in 2016. In fact, founder Ken Himes originally pointed Dave to Mission Increase in 2013 when Dave was running a separate ministry, Marriage Works. Family Matters. A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Dave had previously worked in the mental health field and served on pastoral staff at a church.
Marcia Turnbull joined Dave at Friends of the Family in 2017 as Operations Director, and the two learned strategies through their partnership with Mission Increase that have allowed them to nurture relationships with valued donors that are transformational rather than transactional. Dave and Marcia are happy to share what they’ve learned with their CMI family.
“When we started in non-profit work, asking for money felt yucky,” Dave said. “Over the years, MI helped us appreciate the truth that we are extending an opportunity for people to participate in God’s work and to be blessed by engaging in the mission with us.”
According to Mission Increase, the ministry “exists to help Gospel-centered, non-profit organizations build capacity for ministry by providing biblically based training, coaching and consulting in fundraising.” And, at no cost to them.
MI raises its own funds to bless and equip Christian ministries across the country with free coaching along biblical principles. Their regular rhythm includes quarterly meetings either in-person or online to help leaders think through events, consider a budget, develop communication strategies and cultivate a board. Additional personal follow up is available. “They are very relational and offer top-quality, practical, hands-on training,” Dave enthused.
“MI provides a unique combination of training, coaching, consulting and strategic matching grants to local Christian nonprofits, enabling them to meet the pressing needs of those they serve so that ultimately more people in need are brought to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ,” according to MI’s mission statement. Since 1999 MI has trained thousands of Christian leaders whose ministries have collectively increased their income by more than $2 billion, they state.
FOFM Founder Ken originally pointed Dave to Mission Increase because, “We needed help. We knew there were things we could do better,” Dave said. “I was painfully aware of how little I knew about the non-profit world. MI has been an amazing source of wisdom and knowledge that aligns with our values.”
One of the most important lessons Dave’s learned is how to move away from the transactional style of traditional fundraising. MI’s transformational giving philosophy “guides nonprofits toward a genuine understanding of fundraising as the building of a community, and away from simply asking for money to support their work.”
“Overall, the quality and integrity of what we do has been honed,” Dave said, and we’re “able to do development in a more confident and effective way.”
“The people who the Lord raises up to finance our work also need to be ministered to. God has a plan for us to serve both the donors and the population we serve,” Dave added. “The community that is created between nonprofits and their champions, whom God uses to affect His Kingdom purposes, begins with love for others, faith in God’s provision, and a willingness to be led by the Holy Spirit,” according to MI.
Since its creation in 1994, Friends of the Family has promoted healthy relationships and healthy homes through education and counseling. They also work to strengthen marriages across the Willamette Valley by helping area churches develop highly effective, self-sustaining marriage ministries. A couple years ago, Friends of the Family embraced Adventures in Marriage as their signature program for the valley. By the end of 2025 more than 100 couples will have experienced the program, and they look forward to many more in the years ahead. They also offer PREP 8.0 and have been running The Third Option in their community for the last 15 years.
Friends of the Family now has four professional counselors on staff and offers compassionate, faith-based support for those facing mental and emotional challenges. In recent years, God opened the door for FOFM to expand this ministry by becoming an internship site for graduate counseling students. “This partnership not only allows us to serve more low-income clients but also helps equip the next generation of Christian counselors to integrate their faith with their professional practice,” Dave said. “Over the past five years, 10 interns have trained with us—each bringing fresh energy and a heart for ministry.”
Marriage education programs and discounted counseling services both need to be paid for and planned intentionally for maximum impact. Mission Increase offers a regular pattern to address specific topics at each of their quarterly meetings. The first session of the year teaches how to develop relationships and receive major gifts. The second explains acquisition events. MI even has created an extensive manual to help organize all the details to put on an event, Marcia enthused. MI helps planners stay focused on the event’s purpose to build connections among their champions, make sure all feel welcome, inspire the vision of the ministry and explain its impact, as well as fundraise.
The third quarter unpacks communication and teaches non-profits how to write a great newsletter. MI explains how to engage the champion by making them the hero. “Because of you, this person was helped,” Marcia explained. The fourth meeting addresses leadership, including how to create a strategic plan and a healthy board. The next year, MI hits on the same topics but from a slightly different angle, which keeps the ideas and materials fresh and relevant. Each topic is supported with written information – toolkits, worksheets and handouts, Marcia added.
She noted MI provided particularly valuable assistance to Friends of the Family in 2018 when their coach challenged them to launch a campaign to increase monthly giving. They walked us through the process, she said, and helped them set goals, create sample letters, response forms and tracking sheets. MI also pledged a match if they met their dollar goal. When they were close, the coach continued to encourage them to keep their vision in front of their champions until they gained the $15,000 match. “We have modeled everything after that based on what we learned, and our fundraising has trended to be more and more successful over the years,” Marcia reported.
After years of hosting Celtic Christmas concerts, Friends of the Family discovered a new crowd favorite: the Comedy Date Night. The first event in 2020 was such a hit that it quickly became a twice-a-year tradition. Now, 300–500 people gather each February and fall for an evening of clean, hilarious fun that strengthens relationships and brings the community together.
“It’s become a really neat awareness opportunity,” Dave said. “We’re in the mid-valley between the bigger cities, so there’s a dearth of things like that happening.” Friends of the Family plans next step marriage events with local churches they highlight at the date night to capitalize on the captive audience. Dave takes a few minutes before the program to share their vision and values and staffs a table in the lobby with brochures and drawings for free admission to the next event and marriage conference. They’ve found the date nights to be an effective marketing strategy. “A lot more people know about Friends of the Family than when we started,” Dave said. “We just let people know who we are and invite them to be part of it.”
The only challenge Friends of the Family has found in partnering with MI is processing the wealth of information they offer. Dave and Marcia used to leave a training feeling “overwhelmed with all we feel like we now know we should be doing and not feeling like we have the capacity to do it,” Marica said. They developed a strategy of selecting just one thing from each meeting they could take action on and dismissing worries about inadequacy. They also rest knowing even if they can’t do something in the moment, knowledge of best practices can influence their future decisions.
Dave and Marcia also laud MI’s process of continuing to constantly nurture and grow their partner organizations through their regular quarterly schedule, allowing them time to absorb and retain information, rather than trying to present everything all at once in a workshop or conference.
“Mission Increase’s biblically based philosophies are now baked into Friends of the Family’s culture of donor development, communications, and board leadership,” Dave said. “As the Lord raises up new staff and board members to join our team, we will continue to get them involved in MI’s training and coaching opportunities to help integrate them into our culture.
Thinking about his CMI comrades across the country, Dave summarized: “God called you to minister to marriages. And He called Mission Increase to help you build capacity so you can minster to marriages. With expert knowledge, wisdom, and grace, they teach, train, and coach interested parties in God-honoring best practices of nonprofit leadership and fundraising. At no cost to you! Check them out.”