Making Moves Count: Military Couple Angela and Eric Czaja Launch Re|Engage in Multiple Communities Nationwide

By Amy Morgan

Frequent moves are just one of the challenges military families experience. Long absences and career focus can also detrimentally affect marriages and homelife. Angela and Eric Czaja, part of the Central Coast Marriage Collective in Santa Barbara, Ca., understand these difficulties first-hand. Eric has been on active duty in the U.S. Army for the entirety of their 12-year marriage, while Angela also serves in the Army reserves and homeschools their four daughters.

Since participating in a Re|Engage class the first year of their marriage, the couple now has been part of or led 18 Re|Engage small groups. From their first session in Washington state, they’ve introduced, launched and established Re|Engage in churches in Southern Pines, N.C., in Monterey, Ca., and now their current location in Stascadero, Ca. The couple is committed to being obedient and stepping up wherever the Lord calls “until He says, ‘no,’” Angela said.

Angela considers Re|Engage a lifeline for their marriage in the early years. “Without Re|Engage we would not have made it,” she said. “We would not have had the tools to know how to move forward together. We were headed in opposite directions, constantly butting heads and felt as though we were incompatible.”

When Angela and Eric met, neither was walking with the Lord. Although Eric had grown up in a Christian home, Angela’s upbringing was not built on the same foundation. As young military 20-somethings, their interactions centered around a party lifestyle. When Eric was transferred and their relationship continued long-distance, a friend invited Angela to church, where she experienced salvation and changed focus. She developed an interest in the Bible, and when Eric was transferred to Washington, the two married shortly thereafter.

Differences between them the distance had masked quickly grew apparent as they began living in the same household. Angela grew less and less interested in the partying that had been their prior pastime. They did begin to attend church, and when she saw the promo video for Re|Engage, she jumped at the chance for them to participate. She knew God was going to “fix Eric” and “solve all of our problems.” (A notion she laughs at now.) Eric was much less enthusiastic about attending, but he agreed. One of the first exercises asked spouses to rate their marriage on a scale of 1-10. When Eric peeked at Angela’s card, he noticed a large gap between their ratings, which touched his heart and motivated him to commit to the course.

Over the next 16 weeks, an incredible community of believers shepherded the young couple and walked with them through their challenges. There was not one Ah-ha moment, Angela said, but the way Re|Engage structures the lessons and the support of the community was so impactful their marriage was completely transformed.

“I had been so hungry to know how to build a foundation in my relationship with Christ and in my marriage,” she said. “I’d been searching for that for so long.” She appreciates that Re|Engage is biblically based and points back to real-life application and reflection on scripture. Breakthrough didn’t come immediately, but slowly, week after week, “we chipped away our sinful natures and built on the concepts we learned.”

Not only was her walk with Christ profoundly impacted, tensions between them eased, as Angela realized the problems “were not just Eric” and recognized her part. As she worked on her vertical relationship with Christ, the horizontal relationship with Eric improved. “It was transformational for us!”

When the next move came to North Carolina, the two didn’t immediately seek out a Re|Engage group – and in fact, there were none anywhere in the area. They thought they’d only be stationed at Fort Bragg for a short time, so they were reluctant to jump in at church. They did attend church regularly, and in Angela’s prayer and journalling time, God kept reminding her about Re|Engage. Finally, she and Eric decided to call their church and were directly connected to the Groups pastor. They met with him and introduced Re|Engage as a “good idea for the church.” He said, “Great! When are you going to start it?”

“We were so naïve,” Angela said. “We just wanted to tell them about it … I guess we thought there were ‘people’ at the church just sitting around waiting to lead groups. That’s not how it actually works in real life.” The Czajas realized the Lord was calling them to launch the program in North Carolina, so they started a pilot group with a handful of couples they’d identified as potential leaders.

“These were very seasoned couples with more than 147 years of marriage experience among them,” she said. “We had only been married three years! But they welcomed us with open arms and treated as if we were equals.”

The close-knit North Carolina group continues to grow Re|Engage to this day – fulfilling Eric and Angela’s goal that a program remain strong even when they relocate. They credit the growth to the support of the church’s pastoral staff, most of whom have participated themselves, and the encouragement of one of the church’s elders who particularly championed the program. Angela said the testimony of pastors and key leaders who have gone through and recommend Re|Engage carries a lot of weight.

“The program continues to thrive,” she said. When they started at Grace Church, it was the only Re|Engage program in a three-county area. Now seven other churches nearby also are hosting, many led by couples who first attended at Grace.

God kept the Czajas in the Fort Bragg area for six years before their next move – a notably long time due to Eric’s Special Forces unit assignment. During their time in North Carolina, Eric sustained a severe injury that landed him in the hospital for more than three months. The Re|Engage couples rallied around the young family, watching their daughters, bringing meals, even packing their house for their move to California.

“When Eric had that injury, which was one of our biggest marital challenges, the tools we learned helped us stay grounded over the hurdles,” Angela said. “Every time we lead Re|Engage, we go through the curriculum just like the couples – we are fully invested and work through it. We have the opportunity to continue to perform preventative maintenance on our own marriage while also pouring into the couples in our group. It helps us stay united and prioritize each other.”

Even before they moved to Monterey, the Czajas were referred to a strong, Bible-believing church there. A warm introduction with the leadership paved the way for Eric and Angela to pick up Re|Engage where they had left off.

“We were up and running almost immediately,” Angela said. She credits the church’s familiarity with the military community – realizing the limited time they have to connect with a family before they move – for their willingness to start immediately. She also noted that the reference from their former church leadership lowered barriers. That church’s program has continued to thrive under the leadership of a couple the Czajas trained there.

Angela and Eric’s service at their most recent church, Atascadero Bible Church (ABC), began more slowly. California’s Central Coast is not a military community, so the church leaders were more reluctant to begin something new quickly. “They are used to people who have grown up in the church, so to have a couple come in and say they are ready to go now was not the normal pathway,” Angela said. Ironically, six months before the Czajas arrived, the church had become aware of Re|Engage and had prayed for the Lord to bring someone to lead if He wanted ABC to launch the program. Angela and Eric were the answer to that prayer. The Re|Engage program itself is highly regarded and known to be a valuable and credible resource. Angela and Eric were not asking the church to agree to something questionable or novel. Again they provided references to vouch for their character and experience and made sure the pastoral and church staff knew their intentions and prior experience in the ministry.

When asked what they’ve learned about building a marriage ministry quickly in a new place, Angela replied forging relationships is important. Know the key roles and with whom to connect. She and Eric found providing referrals from previous churches to be very helpful in overcoming objections. “ABC church didn’t know us and we had no connections there,” she said. Sharing references from their two previous pastors who vouched for them helped encourage the church to a yes. The Czajas started a pilot group, then launched churchwide and currently have five groups running.

“We've been fortunate to have warm connections or significant favor from the Lord, but what's helped at our most recent church is connecting the pastor with our previous church leadership who walked alongside us as we ran the ministry,” Angela said. “I think it significantly sped up the process of getting the Re|Engage program established for us,” and built trust and partnership.

Central Coast Marriage Collective’s service minded approach benefits local churches. They ask how they can support the church in any capacity rather than trying to foist a project off on them. That attitude removes obstacles, Angela said. “Some churches have a full-time staff person running Re|Engage, but when you bring a program in, it can feel like a burden to a church.” She typically has handled all administrative details at the churches where they’ve been involved. “We’re willing to do it all – we just need the physical space.” By now, Angela has her semester schedules set and is ready to go.

“Knowing we are not going to ask the church to take on any significant administrative duties lowers barriers,” she said. Watermark provides tremendous resources, leader training – everything a church needs in a convenient portal to make it easy to set up and establish Re|Engage. “I think that is really appealing to churches and lay leaders who already have a lot on their plates,” she said.  

Angela noted Atascaderois the first non-military community in which they’ve lived. God re-directed the family after Eric’s injury. He completed a graduate thesis about grazing livestock regeneratively on military installations that has received attention at the highest national level. This new posting has allowed the Czajas to refocus and reorganize their priorities around family life, Angela said.

“We are really intentional where we commit and spend our time, and we also make sure our own marriage is a priority above any other competing effort in our lives,” Angela said. “In this season of parenting young kids, it's really easy to lose sight of proper family prioritization - putting the kids before our marriage. We are continually reevaluating to make sure we are being the best stewards of our time.”

Military life brings constant change. The Czajas have been diligent about keeping Christ at the center of their marriage. “We want to share that proper prioritization with other couples, and we feel that the Re|Engage curriculum is a really effective tool to do that,” Angela said.

Continuing to lead Re|Engage keeps the Czajas connected, but Angela also mentions their faithful habit of intentional prayer time together.

“We make sure every day we are spending time in prayer with one another, out loud. This is intimate prayer with just the two of us and the Lord. Hearing Eric cry out to the Lord about something I might have brushed off helps me know how I can pray for him and be his provision. It is a true blessing to partner with my spouse in that way,” she said.

Another practice they learned from their friend Pam McGee is to divert daily (at least 15 minutes of 1:1 intentional conversation), withdraw weekly (getting out of the house for date night once a week), and abandon annually (get away on a trip once a year). “We've been diligent about these rhythms and try to be intentional with our time,” Angela said.

When asked about a moment when they saw Re|Engage make a difference in another couple’s life, Angela responded:

“Re|Engage has given us an incredible front row seat to watch God work in marriages. My two favorites are:

1) A couple joined us who were separated. Their marriage was transformed through the Re|Engage process. Remembering how distressed they were when they started and then seeing how vibrant and thriving they were at the end was really incredible.

2) We had a couple in our group who were atheists but wanted to work on their marriage. They would typically leave at prayer time and admitted to skipping over the scripture portions of the reading. We were just glad to have them. Our teaching pastor and his wife were in their same group. The atheist couple was just blown away by the transparency and authenticity of the group, and more specifically the pastor and his wife's willingness to share real, authentic life. I think it really impacted their view of the church in a positive way. The couple didn’t become believers through the process, but we believe seeds were planted, and by the end of the group they were not only staying for prayer time but asking for prayer.” 

The Czajas became connected with the Central Coast Marriage Collective when their church leadership introduced them to Curt and Rhonda Hamner, a couple in the area who are passionate about marriages. They had just launched the Central Coast Marriage Collective, so it was a natural point of discussion.

“We immediately were interested in partnering with them to support their efforts. Meeting the Hamners has been such a blessing, and they continue to be friends and mentors,” Angela said.   

When asked what drew them to the mission of the CCMC and how it complements the heart behind Re|Engage, they answered, “When we get to a new community, one of the first things we look for is a well-established marriage ministry. Often (and unfortunately) there is not one. We are passionate about getting couples (whether in distress or wanting to get from good to great) resources to improve their marriages and feel both CCMC and Re|Engage offer an incredible opportunity to do that,” Angela said.

“We love the vision and commitment of CCMC to change the culture of marriage on the Central Coast. The area is lacking marriage resources compared to other parts of California, so the need for a pathway is great.”

The Czajas have been pleasantly surprised by the support and connections afforded by being part of a larger regional effort. “It's really rewarding to see others interested in spreading marriage resources across our area. We’ve enjoyed supporting others and watch them flourish.”

When asked what they’d recommend a CMI leader do to ignite a culture of marriage ministry in their community, Angela suggested first connect with the staff of their local church. Then, check out (in person) what other churches in the area are offering. “We had many other local churches in North Carolina come and visit on Re|Engage night. This allowed us to meet other potential leaders and eventually collaborate and support their efforts.”

They also credit the events CCMC hosts, which have encouraged couples to reconnect and develop interest in different offerings and resources. The CCMC also serves as a platform to collaborate and get people excited about marriage.

Angela and Eric exhort leaders not to become discouraged. Know that their marriage ministry is making a difference!

“Hang in there and continue to diligently pray for your couples. It's God who will change their hearts. Our friends at Watermark say, ‘Grace + Truth + Time = Change.’  It can be easy to get frustrated or discouraged when change or growth isn't happening in our timeframe. We can plant the seed or water it, but it's God who makes it grow.”